Luke's Blunder
by Steven Taylor
Summary: A funny parody poem that tells the story of Luke Skywalker's adventures.


Luke's Blunder

While on my vacation across the nation  
I got out of my car, and came across a bar.  
Standing outside I saw a man, who's face seemed so out of place.  
He had sandy-blond hair, which was not so rare.  
He also had a black glove on his right hand,  
that of which I did not understand.

As a matter of fact he was all dressed in black.  
What made him mysterious was that he looked so serious.  
I stood next to him and asked, "Why the long Face?"  
He turned to me and said," I have endured many long years in battle, mostly in space."

I then asked. "Would it help to talk about it, maybe then you wouldn't feel so blue."  
He said. "That may help, what you say might be true."  
I said. "Start from the top, and tell me the whole story."  
He said " We might want to sit down, because this is something that would be on Maury."

"It all started on a planet called Tatooine.  
It rotates around two suns, which no one from your planet has ever seen.  
My Uncle Owen bought some droids, and said. "Clean them up before we have Burgers."  
But all I wanted to do was to go out and buy some power converters.

As I cleaned the droids, it made a message play.  
Of a woman so beautiful, it made my mind delay.  
She said. "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, your my only hope."  
But all I could think about was that this woman was dope.

When the message turned off, the gold droid said. "Play it for him dummy."  
But the blue one beeped saying. "Sorry fool, this one belongs to Kenobi."  
So we went down to Kenobi's hut,  
and saw that my Uncle was wrong, and he wasn't a nut.  
He told me about my father, and gave me his light saber.  
And told me he was killed by the dark lord named Vader.

The blue droid played the the message about a mission to Alderon.  
I said. I won't, I have a moisture farm, for I can't be gone.  
So I went back and found my Aunt and Uncle burned to a crisp,  
I thought maybe this trip to Alderon is quite worth the risk.

We went on a ship called the Millennium Falcon.  
That ship was so old and beat up, even the engine was knockin.  
When we got to Alderon, there was nothing there but space.  
All we saw there was the Death star in it's place.

So we went in to save the Princes and to shut of the tractor.  
But we ended up landing right in the trash compactor.  
As we left we saw Obi Wan and Vader in a fight,  
two light sabers going, man that was a sight.  
Vader said " I was once the learner, now I am the master."  
But when he struck Obi Wan down, I shot at him with my blaster.

I joined the rebels at their Yavin fort.  
After that shot two down the empire's exhaust port.  
I then went to train with a Jedi named Yoda,  
when we were done I became a Jedi, sort a.

After that I went to fight Vader in the city in the air,  
He was waiting for me, right there in his lair.  
I was ready to fight, the mood was set.  
But he laughed at me and said."Your not even a Jedi yet."

He cut of my hand at the end of the fight,  
And said. " I have something to tell you that might be a fright."  
He told me that he was my father as he backed me on to a port.  
I then asked him. "So whats up then with that back child support?"

He then asked me to join him in the dark side.  
I declined and jumped off the port, and went into a slide,  
I then waited on Lando and Leia to pick me up in their Millennium ride,  
and got my new hand, thanks to my demise.

I went back to Yoda, back to train.  
He told me. "It wont be finished yet till Vader is slain.  
After all that talking, Yoda was dead  
From there Obi wan came in, and this is what he said.

"I have something big to tell you Luke,  
and what I have to say, you might rebuke.  
So Look here mister, I can tell you, that you have a sister!"  
So that is why I am here, so lost, so serious.  
I said. " You should be over joyed with that news, not furious."  
He said. "Well the thing is I found out that Leia is my sister.  
And the gross thing was in episode five, I actually kissed her."


End file.
